Coupla Mom Links... on breastfeeding, pregnancy, and the choice to become a mother
I’m nearing the end of my 3rd pregnancy and coming across a ton of great writing on the topic of motherhood. Last week, I started this book and it's got me thinking a lot about the choice to become a mother and, then, doubling, no!, tripling down on it. The book is basically a glimpse into an ongoing conversation Heti has with herself about the idea of being a mother. She's convinced herself she doesn't want a child but is obsessed with what that decision means as a woman, writer, and artist.
At times, the book feels too personal, too vulnerable for me. I find myself wincing in embarrassment at Heti's insecurities, perhaps because she's exposing some of my own. But, so far, I've really appreciated her honesty and thoughtfulness on this weighty topic. I'd love to hear any of your reactions to it!
Oh, and here are some other musings on motherhood you might enjoy, mom.
Mom Talk: Breastfeeding Wasn’t Magical for Me (Mother Mag)- “Although my experience didn’t make me feel more like a mother or nurturer, it did show me sides of myself that I forgot were there. It showed me that I was tough, resilient, and willing to try as much as possible to do what I believed was best for my children, even without the instant gratification. And, I’ve come to realize that, among other things, these personal characteristics are actually what make me a nurturer and a mother to my children after all.”
What Does Being Pregnant Feel Like? (The Cut) - “With my second baby I felt my pelvic floor dragging around like a demoralized housewife. At one point I felt my bowel muscle give up, like it just lay down on the couch in a patterned housecoat... I felt like a miracle. I felt like a city being built. I hated it a lot of the time, but it’s so hard to think that I might never feel that way again.”
The Identity Transformation of Becoming a New Mom (The Cut)- “...my body had changed, but I didn’t really know my life anymore, either. I loved my daughter — so much it scared me — but chafed at the loss of so many freedoms. I needed, instinctively, to be near her, but got bored at the banal acts of care-taking and found myself wanting to be somewhere else.”